Hot TOPICS 
Comet Humphries is back!!!
(April 22, 2013)COMET Humphries has appeared once again on the web.Every four years this comet seems to revisit our screens although it never shines very brightly and is seen by very few with the naked eye.
Those with powerful search computers can however spot it on the internet via planet Google.
Stargazer Steve, said: "This aged comet, an icy mix of old rock and half-baked ideas, first came to our attention in late 2008 but following the 2009 unitary elections disappeared over the horizon - presumably to collect huge wad loads of cash as it went on its travels, powered by the taxpayer's gravitational pull of course.
"But now it is back showing that far from disintegrating in the glare of negative public opinion, it is anxious to go on its pointless trajectory for another four years.
"Will it disappear after the election as it did before? Some Warminster websites are like comets but of course ours is like the moon - having shone the light of scrutiny over the town for the past six years."
LINK WITH THE DAVIS BLACK HOLE
Comet Humphries is believed to pick up speed and gain momentum when it comes into contact with two other blue scientific phenomena nearby, the Davis Black Hole and the Newbury polarity change.
The Davis Black Hole has been proven to exist because of the drain it places on the county finances and the fact if can be encountered emitting a stream of negative vibes, usually prefaced by 'with the greatest respect'. The Newbury polarity change is based in Westbury - sometimes it represents the Wylye Valley, other times Westbury or Warminster and it has shifted big style at this election.
The Humphries website is critical of UKIP for fielding a candidate from Hindon when his own party is fielding someone from Westbury for a Warminster seat. He is also critical about Jamie Cullen, someone educated and working in the Warminster Broadway ward, standing against him when his own party is fielding someone from Norton Bavant.
Typical double standards.
Humphries doesn't live in the ward - he lives on the other side of town near Battlesbury, he doesn't work in the ward and wasn't brought up in the ward. So Nil points for local connections then Keith.
Cllr Humphries' website is worth a visit - the poor fellow seems to be a little worried about the UKIP challenge.